I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
