Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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