Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
