belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
