Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
