her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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