I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
PANTIES FOUND
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