i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
