He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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