Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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