There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
