I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
