Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
