You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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