well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I lost the right to judge tonight
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize