in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
