Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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