i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Randomize
