i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
