Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
third nipple confirmed
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
