just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
