Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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