go do what you do best...puke behind churches
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
