.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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