normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
