apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
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The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
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If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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