I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
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She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
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There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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