You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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