What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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