If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
