My Higher Power is John Stamos
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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