As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
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I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
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Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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