I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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