I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
