I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
