Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
