If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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