He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
