fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
