she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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