all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
