One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
