U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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