and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
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I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
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He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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