Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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