it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I got copblocked.
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
