he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
