youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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