its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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