I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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