I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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