I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Your cock deserves a montage
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
