Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
