Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize