Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
