I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I didn't notice because vodka
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
