it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
