Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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