fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
