So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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