He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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