Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
