They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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