you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
