she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
